that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
