you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
