Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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