I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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