Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
