I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
