It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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