girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
