I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
