They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
