ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
