it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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