remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Randomize