is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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