Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
