Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
