Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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