i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
