I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
