Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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