I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize