I love black thongs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
