So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
