the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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