guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
