remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
