Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
