This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
