She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
