did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
