dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize