I'm really into asian looking animals
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
