what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
