I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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