just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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