My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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