Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
