somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"it" just moved
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
