oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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