I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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