Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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