It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
