Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
