no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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