Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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