just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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