it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
