do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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