Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
