i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
