Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
