Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
