please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
