I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize