i just google imaged poop.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
