return my video game
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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