that's an acceptable place to lick
The best revenge is premature balding
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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